Bernard Mathews
Try a great Bernard Mathews self basting turkey this week end, there Norfolk N Good!!

Never lie in heaven
Three men were waiting at Heaven's Gate. St. Peter says, "OK, guys, pretty much anything goes up here, but whatever you do, never lie, or you will spend the rest of eternity with the ugliest women in the universe."

So they all agree and are admitted in. The first guy makes it a week before he lies about how rich he was on Earth. Bam! Right at his side appears the ugliest woman he had ever seen.

The second guy makes it another couple weeks before he lies about how smart he is. Bam! At his side appears the second ugliest woman in the universe.

So the first two guys are walking around with their monsters of women when they see their third friend walking with the hottest woman ever conceived by man. The first two guys say in unison, "How did you land with that babe when we get stuck with these nasty women?"

He nudges the babe and says, "Tell them." She says to the first two guys, "I lied."

Three little pigs
There were three pigs.

The first pig went to a bar ordered a drink and gulped it down and went to the bathroom and then left.

The second pig went to the same bar ordered a drink and gulped it down and went to the bathroom and then left.

The third pig went to the same bar ordered a drink and gulped it down and was just going to leave and the bartender asked if he was going to the bathroom and the third little pig said "No I'm the little pig that goes weee weee weee all the way home"

Road Crossing
Q: Why did the punk rocker cross the road?

A: Because he was stapled to the chicken.

Soul Singer
Q: How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?

A: Put it in the microwave until it's Bill Withers!!

Add your own Joke

Richard goes online to fight pubs decline
PUB fan Richard Hawley is fighting the decline of the local.

The Examiner has run a series of articles highlighting the plight of community pubs around Huddersfield.

Now Hade Edge man Richard has launched a website to promote neighbourhood bars.

He explained how itsourlocal.com works.

Richard said: “Any pub can register with us. We just need to spend around an hour with the manager to show them how to use the service.

“They then have their own customisable website which can include their food menus, wine lists, and details about their beer gardens and function rooms.

“They can also detail coming events like quizzes or live music and upload pictures into their pub’s rogues gallery, which gives an additional flavour of the venue.”

Richard added that the website also encourages customers to sign up.

He said: “They can build up a profile with pictures and videos. They can also receive text updates from their pub. It could be something like an invite to a surprise birthday party or simply a message from the landlord telling them that there’s some free nibbles on the bar between 5pm and 7pm.”

The site was launched last month and has already signed up 30 pubs and 300 drinkers around Holmfirth. Richard is trying to expand into the Huddersfield area and now features some pubs in Slaithwaite and Linthwaite.

“We’d like to be everywhere eventually,” he said.

He came up with the idea.

Richard, who is self-employed, said: “At the time I did a lot of commercial travelling and always tried to stay in a pub B&B. It was a nightmare trying to find suitable places in areas I didn’t know.

“And if I ended up in a hotel I struggled to find a pub nearby which was showing that night’s football.”

Around the same time the Government announced that smoking would be banned in public places.

Richard said: “It started sounding alarm bells in my head, even as a non-smoker. My local pub is the Boot and Shoe Inn in Scholes.

“I think it’s one of the best pubs in the world. But I could see that the ban could have a massive impact on how it and other local pubs were going to be frequented.”

He believed a website would help attract more drinkers into the pub.

Richard said: “I felt more people would visit the Boot and Shoe if they knew what was going on. There’s Sky Sports, nibbles at the bar, free food sometimes and a great quiz night.”

For more information visit www.itsourlocal.com.

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Llety Gwyn Hotel, SY23
12/02/2009 - If anyone has any pictures taken from years gone by please add them to the rouges galley

Thanks.

richard

The Grapes Hotel, SK14
21/05/2008 - Great pub with a lively atmosphere, they have got a great decked outdoor space with trendy umbrellas. We were lucky to visit on a Tuesday when they have bingo night and saw Ricky Hatton’s mum. Apparently it’s his local!

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